stuck gramophone

when i don't know a thing
when i' m a stuck gramophone
and no one knows anymore what that is
there's no picture of me
to show who i am
when i am surrounded by beautiful people
but i just want to go home
on my doorstep a package
no note attached not even a name
was it you?
are dreams trying to come true
my light's on but no body's home
the phone's ringing
a well-meaning friend
but i wish it was someone else
when i am like that
really,
things are not bad
i am so very soft
filled with this love
that replays in my head
it flows from my heart
to my limbs
that grow week
my ears forgot how to hear
and my eyes close when i sleep
please
please forgive me
when i'm like that

i love

walking on the ridge with you

even if our hands don't fit

i love you fumbling with the condom

when i don't have to take responsibility

i love your skin

smooth as warm marble heated by the sun, underneath your body hair

your rough hands cupping my soft breast

my nipple in between your hot, from morning coffee, lips

i love

i love so many things

and wonder if i will fly again

above this river

that always kept flowing

hidden by the ice

spring is here

will you touch me

once again?

here it is

i feel so
overwhelmingly happy
here
now
my body dances
my voice sings
the sun
the dry grass
promising summer
especially now
here
in spring
my heart screams

don't you know
this moment
it could rip me apart

poem, still to come

for now, i just show my bum

hi pluisje

i am poesje

i am learning to fly

for you who paints my sky

this was Feb. 24 2010i am still regular like the moon, just faster.this month i started flowing with the new moon

maybe my body will slow to that rhythm for a while, now i know there is no rush.

for you who paints my sky

all is clear this morning as i step outside in the morning light. somehow the dust settled, ash did not arrive here yet, the haze has lifted. and suddenly with great big sweeps, your arms your body, your hand it's gentle touch. great pink puffy clouds.

it takes a few red drops in white, the blood is mine and you my prince in white.

for you