Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I love the water in this picture. My husband took these pictures.
I am very close to the weather, meaning to post pictures here, while looking outside seeing snow, is kind of contradictory for me.
Snow is water vapor, turned into crystals.
Snow is not Ice, no ice yet
This for me is significant. I love my husband. Why are we more like snow? Ice crystals, one separate from the other. Why do we try and it never seems to really work?
Why with my new lover (myheartrightsideup) everything is more then good:), we never had an argument, i never never feel this separateness. With him however we engage; it is always totally good. There is no wall, we are one, and yet, sparkle individually.
i fall
i fall back
into the water

What is your experience? Did you catch that moment, where the wall was being build? Did you melt that first crystal when it formed? Can i still take down that wall in between me in my husband?
Can i have my cake and eat too, meaning can he and i fully love each other while i have this same full love relationship with myheartrightsideup.

My husband is actually quite open to it all, which is totally beautiful, some fluidity is there. More about that next time, polyamory and stuff.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

... in the woods

hi there everyone, how are you?.... i indeed have storms in my head. you (myheartupsidedown i named you) say; i have to learn to deal with them, quiet them, stillness between my ears. Maybe this is one way; to write about it here.
Today i will let the storm roar, spilling some of it out. All in a ramble as it blows. Then after the wind dies down, i will take the things one by one, pick them and look at them. And most of all i want to learn, hear your comments, see what you think, hear what you feel, to feel what you know.
Actually i am quite calm, these days. Today like yesterday just very tired, and sweetly sad, not deeply.
First; Annie doesn't want to be part of this blog anymore, whatever her reasons (that's up to her to let you know or not:) I love her big time, it is all good, it's not that.
And First of all (coming second here) i want to know about orgasms. I want to hear sooooo many stories. And i wonder if it will happen here on-line (not an orgasm, the talking about it:)
I found in talking to girlfriends, it's amazing how we love to talk about it. As in before i started this blog, how whenever i proposed to get undressed and take photos in the woods of our bodies, it was all laughter and joy. I don't know, i must be blessed with amazing girlfriends. Or are all of us women like that.
Haha, i say women, but somehow men seem to like all this too. So there's my other subject. As you know i am a married woman, in the way where you promise to be faithful.
So how did this all start? Yes, i went on a quest to love my self more. I was very devoted to my husband, but he didn't express his love for me in a way i needed at that time. Something like that. Next thing i know, i start falling in love with a man, who does express himself to me in a way i like. Long story short. Here i am, 2 years later, my husband getting used to the new me(old really, i'm just discovering more of me). And i, Katrin (i am ready for a new name),having an affair with myheartrightsideup. I don't want it to be an affair, i want to have my cake and eat it too.
I want to share more about all this, they are such deliciously humorous sweet loving stories. I want to share, because i want to know if you recognize any of it, in your own way, or if i am just plain weird? Which is totally okay to me too. I do think that sexually i am lugging behind greatly.
Enlighten me!!!
10.000 kisses to all of you, dry and soft, wet and warm, rough and deep, etc, all over, wherever, however you like :)

oops, this should have been a photo of a kiss

Monday, September 13, 2010

testing the water

too much, i said last time i was here
too much indeed
on this page here, i should be able to say anything
i want to say so much
so many secrets
that really i don't mind if any one knows
that really i like to share
so i will learn
and maybe so will you
what my life is about
my deepest joys my deepest fears
maybe not so different
where you say aha
where i will say
aha i'm not the only one
or where you say
i'm way beyond
i'm not there yet
or compassion for all our differences

do you want to hear
what i really want to share?
so really really i will dive in with more confidence
in new waters
waters i have never swam
water that could sweep me off
to strange and scary lands

is there a shore
where i will land?
maybe when i tell
you will tell me that
'katrin you're safe
there is a shore
i just don't know if it's white sand, warm mud, bright green rushes
but for sure there is a shore
and it is good'

will i speak? and will you listen?