Saturday, October 29, 2011



my dark master
it's been a month since i heard his voice
i feared for all that's negative

again he made me do it
give up on him so totally
on us together ever

knowing there is nothing there,
i reach out one more time
he is gone for good
i dial his number

it rings at least 6 times

his voice
i can't believe my ears

dark as ever
black rock texas

he is there
he talks to me
right now and here

i can't hear what he is saying
he tells me everything
but i can't make sentences form
mostly incomprehensive words

he didn't call me, baby
at least i did not hear
he says, phone back tomorrow
the connection will be better

no! don't hang up on me
not now
i am in seventh heaven
happy just to hear you breath

he lets me
and i do listen

for quite a while

till i know, that all still stands
our love is meant to last for ever

i can only be white light
when he is my dark lord

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


yesterday i danced among the stars
today i lay on moss
the wet cold earth so soft
i am so calm
the slightest touch released
the laughter of the universe
i found you
now all i have to do
is wait till you find me

Saturday, August 13, 2011

glass beads

what if the grass were fragile?
what if you were here?
everywhere i walk, tinkling
water drops roll on my skin
water ain't solid like glass beads
the earth IS fragile
every single sound
to be never heard that way again
kiss me kiss me!
let it last for ever
let me know again
that i am walking naked in wet grass
that the rain keeps falling
that your laughter is my music
and that the sun will shine on both of us

Sunday, August 7, 2011

colors in the night

i am the rain that dances by your window
i smell your smells and see soft lighting
through the windowpane
sparkling on to me outside
i see your movements;
how you push your chair back
and get up to get something
i long for a home like that
but i am the rain!
and pelt away
i am born from clouds
and with the sun
i'll send you rainbows
imagined touch
the colors they are real

Friday, June 10, 2011

secret cove

no words are needed

when everything is right

my mind is quiet

when my vagina speaks

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

nobody home

What do you do
when no one's home
when you're naked
your collared and you try to quit smoking

you take a lover

and once a week

you order two days of bliss

let me tell you about last week's

At 5 am i get up
6 am i drive to town
7 am i sit with my most wonderful women's group in quiet meditation
8.30 3 hours of money making, a job
i drop of recycling, run an odd errand and make some changes to a certain document
noon drive out to Carcross to meet an old friend
again all sorts of errands, hers, and we get to eat ice cream and chat on the beach
2 pm drive in blue skies and white snow over the mountain pass
3 pm we make love
4 pm we sail out of the harbor into the blue
5 pm under sail we make love
6 pm eating out; chai
7 pm a drive around to decide were we take pictures for this photo shoot
8 pm the order forgotten the feelings not; we make love, we play in the wood heated cedar hot tub, we dance and we laugh, was there red wine?, and yes he does tie me up, where i hang from the ceiling in bliss :)
and at some point we sleep
we sleep tightly entangled all night
when he wakes for a bit he kisses me
when i wake up for a bit i wonder how we can actually sleep pressed into each other so tight
6 am we make love and we rise
7 am photo shoot (note the bags under my eyes :)
8 am more of the same, the thing we love most
9 am i have to drive off
back to my town where i do work for 5 hours today
groceries and gas
ahhh and at 6 pm i get to go home.....
i fall in my bed,
and i am home.....
it's all part of my life that i love

Monday, May 2, 2011

because people do still read me here, thanks

the snow,
soft patches here and there
left over from a world all white
the hill now bare
purple crocuses

blooming out of nowhere
the weather mild today

suddenly and short
hail falls from the sky
the grouse are drumming
the birds are singing
and i ?
i slowly do undress
carefully put my feet
into the icy water
the glory of such moment
to do the things
you would not do
if that white had purpose in it self
the purple just to brighten up the hill
if hail can't fall so softly
the birds will always sing !
as long as we will do our thing !

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

ice dancing

just to let you know
i am almost floating
dancing through my life

Saturday, March 12, 2011

40 below

don't read this when you're tenderhearted
and can't handle 40 below

my husband still gives me the best sex ever
i know my boyfriends might not like this post
but when you wake up
and it is still close to 40 below
and you feel freezing
and it's one of these mornings
when the world might come to an end
and you don't know what you want
and your husbands always forgives you
because he is ruled by his penis
and your centre is your clit

when i was sitting here at the computer
and he strokes my shoulder with his hard on
i say, oh well rub me hard
because i am cold inside and out
and that's what he does
and the blankets piled high
and i feel better already
and he does much more

you know when this time he would have had me tied down
i would have surely come either that or died
my safeword can just be, no
because i know when fighting to get loose from his grip
i can scream:), please
please go on


the things good sex will do to my mood

Saturday, March 5, 2011

it's the high heels
that make me feel
this ain't me
more accustomed
to be naked
i like my leather skirt
and will start dreaming
let's start:
i apply
for this worldly job
at naughtystep&co
later yet
financially affluent
living on the top floor
looking down
on my own boss
ahhhh it's a just dream
and really it ain't me

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

i dream

to live in a silver bay, with golden rays of sunshine, the spray of the waves, the salt on my skin
to be tired from love making, the wind blowing my hair, the warmth of his body
laughter surrounding me, the porpoises jumping in front of the boat
talking for hours on end, listening to screeching sea birds and him

to live in endless desert, eating the juicy red fruits of the cactus,
licking his chin
the heat of the sun warming me, open skies for ever and on
mountains upside down from the ones i came to know
my legs scratched from the rocks we climb, my hand being held by his

to live in understanding the other, the joy of knowing eachother
conversations that build on, to relish in touching, to kiss you in between
all those things that make me know i am exactly were i always wanted to be
to feel blessed as one can be

the waves they come and go
i am with you
i am with him
and sometimes alone
i am always within
my heart sings with joy
i dance even when i do not

maybe that is my dream......

Saturday, February 19, 2011

my dream

if you know me, from keepers you know i was living my dream for a while, for a few years really. And really before that i was living my dream too, and before that too, and before that i became aware of who i was and in the situation i was in, and i would live my dream. Like when i was building my sandcastles in a sandbox among flowering bushes, a divider between the orchard and the flower garden.
Still now as then, i find myself awake in a situation, really not knowing how i got here.
Now i find myself sitting here peacefully trying to get to the point to write a new dream, while waiting for one of my lovers to call me.
One of my lovers, yes, i think i have several to ward of feelings of rejection, or maybe to keep me in vain that i have options, that actually i have a choice. Maybe i need that all to write a new dream.
Today i felt restless, tomorrow i will go and see a new therapist, Monday i work in town.
It's easy to just carry on.
But i feel very stuck, i want change, i want to jump of the cliff, but unlike in my dream a few nights ago, i don't know if i can handle being in free fall for a few seconds, which might last for weeks. Or maybe i am already in free fall, i have set things in motion that cannot be reversed.

So i ask my self what is it what i want, What do i really want? A question i asked in 1974, and i was very blessed to live that life i truly wanted for a few years, and i felt very blessed and it gave me what i wanted. It is not that i was disappointed by it, or want out. It was glorious and will always live it in a way.

hmmmm so much to say, but instead of trying to explain it to you let me get to the point.
- why doesn't he phone? -
hmmmmm my dream....... to live in a loving relationship...
to live with someone in harmony, to be truly happy with eachother, to do the things you love, and come home to love.
ahhhh i realize it's a tall order, because i do not want to give up everything i have; my health, the freedom to do the things i love, to be always warm and well fed, to have loving friends and family.
See! now i think i am so spoiled
Please let me know i am not
Please let me know if you live with the love of your life and it is good....

next time for the sake of creation, i will go into the details

Thursday, February 17, 2011

now the dream

this morning i did not get to write my dream, my dream last night that is, tomorrow i will write my dream for my future, my future.... you'll see i am driving in my car on a two lane road, i go forward,
there is a car right in front of me facing my way,
it's driving backwards the same speed as i,
it unnerves me, i swerve to the left and hit a car in the opposite lane.
because nothing happens when i hit it,
it makes me realizing i am dreaming (lucid)
the road becomes sandy
the landscape more beautiful
the car in front of me is gone
there is rocks to the right and a cliff to the left
all in pastel lovely blues and reds
and yellowish sand
the road becomes smaller and smaller
now it is just a clay edge on the side of the rock
i am walking now
knowing the sandy clay edge will not hold me
knowing that i am dreaming
i turn to the left and fly
as there is still a little bit of question in my mind if i am dreaming or not
i first free fall
but i find my wings in time
the way i fly is with my arms outstretched
and my feet together as the tail of a fish to steer
it's beautiful!
the land beneath me beautiful
being lucid, i realize that there are no electrical wires
in past flying dreams i always have to deal with power lines
not today
all the joy of excitement
hmmmm it wakes me up


all is calm, peaceful
now and in my head

Saturday, February 12, 2011

bravery in the yukon

you think i am brave, go to meandering michael's site
now he is brave!!!
i'll send the link later... busy ...

here it is, check it out!Current Coldest

Sunday, February 6, 2011


won't you be tempted
when you drive up to his house first time
and it's just that house that is just so
when you walk into the mudroom
and you see through a glass door
that it's a cherry wood dancing floor
and the wind is blowing form the mountains
and ocean is close by
won't you be tempted
when even curtains are the ones you've always liked
when he takes you to the bedroom
and the view from the picture window
is most incredibly
and the rain is only sweeping mist
and the waves are high
all weekend long he tells you things
but it really it is he that makes you what he says you are
his touch and kisses,
the things he does
the food he feeds you
won't you be tempted
to just step into this dream
where he is your king
and you're his queen

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

the rain outside your window

Coffee computer
dark winter rain window dance
imagining touch

i am the rain that dances by your window
i smell the coffee and see the soft lighting
your movements,
how you push your chair back and get up to get something
i long for a home like that
but i am the rain
and pelt away
i am born from clouds
with the sun
i'll send you rainbows
imagined touch
real colors reaching out for you

Saturday, January 22, 2011


she knows when she gives
she bleeds on their sheets
lucious lips lovers
his power hers
her power his
flowing like honey
dizzy from all this bright red liqueur
snow is but moist in the air

Monday, January 17, 2011

sima sawme haiku

going up the lift
my head rests on your shoulder
ski fast to slow down
walking up the stairs
the smell of hotel carpets
me close behind you

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


erratics protect

my love for you melts the snow

who says, it is cold?

Thanks to hot Steve i was inspired to try my first Haiku. Any suggestion are welcome, i am totally new to the art.

Monday, January 10, 2011

i don't know why

i get so luckyliving like a lush
when the sun shines upon my skin
i know that things are good
not to long ago i went in the dark of night
to visit my dearest friend
half an hours walk
straight through the woods
not even stars where shining
i nearly do get lost
feeling snug in my warm snow suit
then again i know
that i am always safe and sound
and taking care of
is that why?
when my computer almost crashes
i just have to make a call
and friends they help me out
and do more for me
than i expected

i know i have too many boyfriends right now
but it sure
comes in handy

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

i cry

just someones music
someone very talented
send it to me
i cry
because today
i do not know
i feel so soft and vulnerable
i am so blessed
but who am i
You know, these amazingly beautiful things happen to me, for me, around me, asked of me, because they believe in me, but here am i,
and feel my only talent is
to be there
for you
to lay in your arms all day
to pleasure you
to pleasure me
again i ask
is that my
no poet, no writer, nor artist
just me
loving you and loving me
can life be just that?
music send to me by coyotesings
and i found him at

Monday, January 3, 2011

my dear pussy

Hi, I am still working on my orgasms, if some of you have wondered.
And.... no orgasm yet, I am making progress.
Which is rather exciting (haha, as it should be:)
I just talked a whole lot about it on Fetlife.
hmmm so i don't feel like repeating myself here...sorry.
Now if you like to check in in Fetlife...
I love it over there
I love what it brought me here
here as in my real life
hmmmm i do feel blogging is part of my real life too,
but you know what i mean, there's cyber experiences
and ones in my material world so to speak.
Both very satisfying,
now just if i could reach that satisfaction in sex.....
which i do
it's complicated.....:)