Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEARto all of you
who read me here
from Holland
New Mexico
and everywhere
that i don't know
(don't mind my Spanish, i don't know if that's correct)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

snow heart

if every cell of us
contains our totallity
and we are mainly water
i look at a snowflake
and wonder if that's the one
of that moment
now frozen in time
where my grandpa
called me sientje
i his princess
he my king

Monday, December 27, 2010

bad girl

no, not me, the camera
do i get all my clothes off
guess what
the camera acts up
it was exhilarating though
as always
naked in the snow

Ahhh but this me...
i like to be bad too
who would have thought that
(you probably)
how this all and later this blog innocently started, spiritually really, loving oneself, being, in the moment.......
now see where it got me
i love to fall in love
have sex in odd places
talk dirty to you
just how i used to be
as a teenager yes
God forbid
i won't start drinking with the guys
i rather liked that too

run !

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

this Rio river

this Rio river
i forgot it's nameit's called a river
but it's just water
flowing through all rock
deep and awesome rock

it's a peaceful creek
you think
but you don't see that it is thundering down just a few feet away you don't see that my life is about to change all i had about to evaporate the spray it does create

i am sculpted in the rock

Monday, December 20, 2010


bathing in cold water

when the sun is hot

When i bath like that i feel totally refreshed, but it's not that easy. The old self is still me. Yesterday the sun did come out in this cold land where i live. And last night i felt sad, since a long time. I realized i still hold on to my old fear, of the need to be looked after, that i cannot do it myself. I see other women who live either alone or with a partner, but they stand independently in a way.

I am the child, i love to laugh, i love to love, to play, to be the sun, i know i'm clean, as in totally Innocent,

you stand there on the other shore

you rub me dry and warm again

Saturday, December 18, 2010


sunshine on my body
laughter in the sky
the river giggling

oak trees
blessing me
it's us girls that are giggling, only here i 'm shy to say, that i love male company
all these men i meet
they're so incredibly sweet.

a fluttering butterfly

Thursday, December 16, 2010

the path I'm on

you know
i know
i am all sex
that's all there is to it
I love to make love
i love to love
i love to be loved

and i know
there is many ways to love
and it's not all sex
but sex is a good one
you know it
and i do too

Monday, December 13, 2010

on the edge

living on the edgei look at me

there she is

what is it that i like the places that i like?
the sun baked rock
underneath bare feet
skipping stones
to reach the edge
no fear
inhabits me
when i am
who i am meant to be

Friday, December 10, 2010

me, me, me

As i have been away for six weeks, now back home, it's like starting over again.
So here i am!
I start with being me.
This photo shows me,
totally who i feel i am......
So whatever you or i were thinking before, this is it, blue skies and white rock inclusive.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


my body is startlingly dark
against the white world
now here at home
more than a month later
the white not the white mesa
i undress slowly
outside the window more snow is slowly falling
my body is surprisingly equally tanned
a few broad bands on my feet from sandals
two thin white lines on my belly
my breasts slightly whiter
I guess it was not a dream