Saturday, September 25, 2010

I love the water in this picture. My husband took these pictures.
I am very close to the weather, meaning to post pictures here, while looking outside seeing snow, is kind of contradictory for me.
Snow is water vapor, turned into crystals.
Snow is not Ice, no ice yet
This for me is significant. I love my husband. Why are we more like snow? Ice crystals, one separate from the other. Why do we try and it never seems to really work?
Why with my new lover (myheartrightsideup) everything is more then good:), we never had an argument, i never never feel this separateness. With him however we engage; it is always totally good. There is no wall, we are one, and yet, sparkle individually.
i fall
i fall back
into the water

What is your experience? Did you catch that moment, where the wall was being build? Did you melt that first crystal when it formed? Can i still take down that wall in between me in my husband?
Can i have my cake and eat too, meaning can he and i fully love each other while i have this same full love relationship with myheartrightsideup.

My husband is actually quite open to it all, which is totally beautiful, some fluidity is there. More about that next time, polyamory and stuff.


  1. Who is anyone else to say if you can have your cake and eat it too. Anything is possible. And sometimes too, even the best of love can fail. It is a sad truth.

    For me, I have discovered there are many kinds of walls. Too many walls to count. Walls where even you'd have sworn no hammer was weilded. With my exhusband and I, there was a language wall. Yes, we both spoke English, but I spoke, let's say poetry, and he spoke science. Two can meet between these things, and certain parts can engage, but the whole of myself was left with my ass hanging out shivering. And I didn't even know it at the time.

    My lover and I speak poetry together. It all is so much better.

    I do not have it in my heart to be polyamorous and so I can't possibly speculate, but I do see your husband values you a great deal to open his heart and perhaps his ego so.

    Wishing you fullness.


  2. The Meeting

    The narrow alley
    in which we met only spanned
    one block between us,
    between two busy
    streets of our sky scraping town.
    No leaping buildings
    is permitted here,
    and no swimming to England
    either. Still we met.
    We both had to go,
    go quickly as if we had
    so much more to do.

    I am left with mystery,
    memory, strings hanging out.