I told you a while ago, about my orgasms, or lack of.
Now i was advised by a sex therapist, to read a certain book and do the exercises, and when encountering problems with doing the program outlined in the book i could phone her back.
Finally i got the book: For Yourself the fulfillment of female sexuality by Lonnie Barbach.
I am going to try this program starting today. She suggests first; ' to explore your attitudes and development as a sexual being.
1) How did your parents feel about sex? Your mother? your father? How were their feelings communicated to you?
First i thought well that's going to be a short answer, but of course not really.
I don't know how they felt.
hmmmm this is going to be quite personal here on-line, Lonnie suggest i talk with a girlfriend that i feel very close to.
What comes up for me now, which is an essential fear of mine that i recognize that i am always afraid of hurting people. What i might say might hurt my mom
The second issue is that i really don't want to do this, i've gone here before, i know it all.
But do i?
So for the exercises sake here we go:
My parents tried in earnest(i know that for a fact), to educate us about sex, but it didn't work out, most we got was a big silence. The one answer i did get, is that sex is for when you are married and it is very very special.
I never saw my mother's breasts till i was an adult. I never saw my parents loving towards eachother till i was an adult. So these are just somethings.
My mother did not enjoy sex. My father, i wouldn't have a clue. He was a charmer in the outside world, but a grump in his family. He laughed at me when i showed interest in my breasts and he forbid me to walk around half naked. Which never really worked out, There is nothing new in me showing my body, i am and i was a rebel since age 16.
Growing up i maybe communicated about sex with my mom a little,(maybe i could a fill one page) but never, never did i communicate with my dad on this subject. Yes i did, when he was laying in his casket, i would tell him things. And it is not a joke, it was actually very beautiful. i finally felt close to him again it had been 45 years.
Good enough for now! I am doing my Kegel's :)
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