so much to say

My life is always so terribly orgasmic, i always have a thousand stories, one happening or one thought, it often feels like i could write a book about it.
(Erin thanks) I HAVE NO IDEA, and that's what i have said to my sexual partners, i just have no idea about this orgasm thing. I don't know where i need to go or not to go when i reach a plateau of excitement. I will relax or work it up some more all with the same result.

But there is hope! With my husband i always have a satisfactory sex life. Then, when my first love came onto the seen, our relationship actually improved. Then when myheartupsidedown appeared my sex life with Don greatly improved. So here comes in Hope, because when i met Bill:) i used to say, you have the total wrong impression of me, i know nothing about sex. Well with lover no 3 (myheartrightsideup) i cannot say that anymore. I feel i learned a thing or two. Sooooo i will also figure out this mysterious orgasm.
And my husband is a great partner in crime, he loves it all.
and :) lover no 3 from a distance (who is really my no.1 or actually 2, 'cause i am no. 1 for me.)
and you, thanks!

For the journaling
I am working my kegels. A question is, i seem to be holding my breath while doing them, i find it real hard to keep breathing while working those muscles. Is that normal? Will i learn to breath and squeeze at the same time?
I masturbated for an hour! Lonnie advices, an hour a day. As here is my thing, i never masturbated as a child, still i find it kind of boring . But yesterday i did it, and will do so again today. After the 3 minutes i looked at the clock ; my gosh do i have to do this for an hour. Then after the next 3 minutes i already reach excitement! wow! (i am so easily proud of myself.)So i very much enjoyed it for 20 min total. Then i kind of started drifting of to sleep (my way of dealing with stuff, i sleep) but i kept playing, i woke up again for the last 20 min and actually didn't want to stop, but i did, leaving some for today.
Now