Monday, July 5, 2010

now i blew it all

not that there was (i cry) any hope left this is it it is called heartbreak nothing new in this world i've been there before haven't we all (my tears here they come again) why now why me why does it hurt so much for way too long now it's just i do not know how to continue it was a feast you tell me (my tears rolling down my cheeks) you don't regret a thing you tell me(i am blinded now by my own tears) what about my tears oh you say you don't like crying women well how come i've never cried so much in my life (i already said that a year ago, when things were still beautiful) i did not know i had tears before you came along you who gave me everything.....
Okay, it hurts again today, i know already i'll be fine, and better yet. Why today, because i was stupid enough to phone him, yes i did, all you who know me, can't believe your ears, "why why did she do that" well because i had nothing to loose and now i lost everything.....
For you who don't know me; i am a married woman and have a blessed life, my husband, no not he, he gives me everything.... almost :)
Here i sit all snotnosed.
If i just could press delete.
No, i won't. I do know Love (yes you), me neither, i don't regret a thing, it was a feast. I am so glad you said that, i am so glad we had what we had.......
garble garble


  1. and my brain says better to feast than never dine

    but my heart, my heart, my heart has been hurt and then it is hard to hear

    so instead, I'll send love and understanding and hope for a sweet healing.


  2. Thank you Erin, I do not really know you and here you are.
    Katrin x

  3. I think we do sometimes feel we have nothing to loose and then walk straight back into heart-break. It slams into us and for some reason we don't see it coming. We all have these massive blind-spots. And we all have these areas of hurt that take us hostage, sometimes when we least expect it. When we think we've walked on far enough to leave it behind us.

    And then after a while the tears lessen and the hurt eases somewhat. Until next time anyway. I guess we all have something to loose after all. Warmest hugs to you. xx Jos

  4. Yes Jos, and that blind-spot, that i made that phone call, it feels like that. But now i feel i am stronger for it, till next time indeed.