Saturday, July 10, 2010


What is your relationship with your tears?

How many months ago now? Did i know i love the way they roll down my cheeks.
They way i can make them come, thinking certain thoughts.
Other times when i have no control, there they are.
How now i can actually stop them when i feel them coming.
How i had no such switch just recently.

And then there is the history
Yesterday on-line i met a woman from The Hague .
There's Tears of mine there in The Hague, are the crystals of the salt still there, you think?
It's 27 years ago.

My curriculum vitae for tears is really not that big.
1966 in my bed in my room above the bedroom of my parents. They did not hear, so there and then i did decide, no more tears for me.
1976 same spot, exams tomorrow, i knew i wasn't ready, but i did pass.
1983 The Hague, several locations, that i remember very clearly, i could find those crystals there. (these were heartbreak tears, it made me decide to move to Canada)
1986 Another heartbreak, Atlin BC
1990 In the doctor's waiting room, here. Pregnant. (my son:)

And then i cried for others and with movies and with books.

Here, now, i realize; no tears of Joy in this resume.

Summer 2009 up till today; tears tears tears, intermixed with heaps of Joy, the highs so high, the lows so low. He took me higher than i have ever been, lower than i dared to go.

Well you got to say, that is.....

1 comment:

  1. This - gorgeous. What we receive when we are in pain, that joy that both you and Liz talk of - the depth of it all.

    And yet, I don't like to think of you (or anyone) in pain. Even though just this week I fell to my own undulating stuff and rejoiced in it. Yes, I feel it. Yes, I am still alive. Learning. For others though, I would just like to save them:)